Late Comebacks

What I meant to say was-

how dare you try to take my men?

 

They are all fuckaholics, alcoholics, half-wits,

and they aren’t very good at cheating either.

But they do it, a lot.

 

Well, I suppose if you insist- you can have one.

But I’m warning you-

take off your shoes and get ready-

to stand in the kitchen. never having children.

don’t worry he loves bologna, with American cheese.

and when he farts under the covers at 2am-you’ll understand.

 

Would you like the one that tried to kill me and himself,

or the one that tried to drown himself in rum?

there is quite a selection here you realize.

They are all well aged, and vintage.

We have Sweet, and sour-

dark and mysterious,

or for the adventurous-

confused. pickled, and loves fetishes.

 

Ode to the jealous, narcissistic woman-

who can’t help but want what you have,

a life that looks better than theirs,

though a life of thier own would help.

 

I can’t be sure, but based on these rules

which I did not invent-

If I start dating myself,

she may become a lesbian.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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