Part 3: Evolving From Hypoxia…

One night late in evening going into the early morning I sat at my local gym in my new town, in my new life, and in the dredges of my old life pulling at me. I had all these amazing and strange conversations with the most interesting chatachters…

A reverend who had delivered just so many babies but loved the Sundance Indians and thier sweatlodges. He always stayed in the longest, even if he was at the highest risk.

A new to me amazing boyfriend, a carbon monoxide survivor himself, and firm loving father…he always sat by my side then. This was years before he became abusive. He always stood behind me in everything I did…back then. He made sure I’d be ok even when the whole world had forgotten about me. He stood true. He knew just how to help. And never made fun of me for being slow or stuttering or just plain being totally off.

There were so many we met in that old hot sauna. So many long late nights just recovering and hydrating and pushing sweating out all the infections and tears and trauma..

But one late night it caught up with me fast. Just everything. Days before the divorce hearing was scheduled…I was stressed. I was jarred. I was not myself. I was scared. I was alone. And I felt safe there in that little cove, warm on the cedar…

Watching the steam rising from rocks..

It lingered for hours after leaving and i usually felt a lot better sweating it all out.

Then came the hard moments of terror…

I felt really fatigued and I’d had enough water to per an ocean, but I’d sweated out more than my fair share of toxins.

I went to the locker rooms to shower and prep for the days leading up to the hearing. I felt off, felt vertigo coming over me again for a bit but figured it’s just all the heat.

I took a pretty Luke warm shower, and as I felt the water running down my face I began fighting feelings of fear and insecurity. Was I messed up? Was I crazy? This is not going away. God y isnt it going away?

I got a call the next day..the co detector went off in the middle of the night because someone being me and a few others left the sauna on all night.

Only they are a 24 hour facility and hope no one was injured in this…

So there it was it happened again. AgAIN…

How did this happen again?

This water…it saved my life. This shower, it could have been my last shower.

This was minor in comparison to my other co poisoning related issues from before…but this still this sucked.

Weeks had gone by and not an alarm had gone off…the gym was serene, quiet, safe, full of compassion, and protection.

And it almost killed me while I was still recovering from a year of severe infection, copoisoning, trauma, drama, death and despair…

❤ thank god for reverends at the gym right? We were more worried about him as he always came out strangely red and hed survived colon cancer 2 or 3 times over…

What an amazing man…and I’d never have given up hearing his stories…

They brought me to sanity and ground in deep healing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s