So, today I am doing a sleep study at home to look for apnea, insomnia patterns, and other neurological difficulties. I spent my night with a weird forehead censor on and tubing in my nose. A belt sensor. I I certainly went to bed thinking I can look at this like wow I look like a dumbass, or I could think to myself wow if I were in public right now I would look like a heroic bionic woman lost in space and time forever. It could have been a prop for a super heroine costume, but I think my insurance doesnt pay for oops I went to walmart with the bionic headset on.
Still would have been really funny.
Now I have a giant red dot on my forehead that will probably not go away for several days. This brings new opportunities for making up things that didnt really happen to make people laugh uproariously for atleast five minutes. What the heck?
Gotta have a hobby right?
List of things this will tell random people who ask why I have a large red dot on my forehead:
-I have taken a vow to be hindu for the rest of my life. The priest asked me what kind of mark i want, and i told him I’d prefer a moon. But he just didnt really understand English.
-I had this strange dream I was abducted by aliens. But when I woke up I had fallen asleep with my VR headset on. Somebody shot me in the Vr, and this magically appeared. Ironic? I think it’s a conspiracy..
-I was bad today and my mom flicked me in the forehead. I keep telling her that’s not funny anymore I’m an adult now but she cant help herself.
-I tried this new sexual move that didnt turn out right in reality. It looked so easy in the karma sutra for dummies! I dont think he understands that’s not where his penis goes.
-it’s the coronavirus. Everyone gets one just like chickenpox. Well everyone I talk to and breathe on that is. Cough cough omg! Sorry man. See ya later..
– I decided to engrave myself in protest. I haven’t decided what I’m protesting yet.
-its a tattoo.
-For my mom. She had sex while I was in utero. The penis hit my head and daddy just kept going..I’m permanently scared.
-Its really just I want to make sure that if there is a mass gun shooting again they have a good target because my forehead is really big and I’m just a martyr anyway. I wanna be the first to go…
-I ran out of inappropriate things to say, therefore it’s a magical dot from god. Doesnt everyone get one? Well only if they cant sleep…
Ok folks, I’m awake now. Still cant sleep right! But I’ve earned my giant red dot for real.